There is a popular saying — confidence is key. And it’s true; I don’t disagree. But how do you know that you, or someone else, is a truly confident person? It isn’t as hard as it sounds. Being confident doesn’t mean you’re nothing but bravado and swagger. Confidence is a natural expression of your ability, expertise and self-regard. There are nine qualities of a truly confident person that you can use to tell the real confidence from the false:
1. People who are confident will always take a stand because they’re not afraid of being wrong, not because they believe that they are always right. A truly confident person is okay with being wrong because to them, finding out what is right is actually more important than just being right. They will admit to being wrong or that maybe they don’t know instead of acting as though they are right and only their opinion is the correct one, which is something a more cocky or conceited person would do.
2. A confident person will listen more than they speak. They are quiet and unassuming because they are already comfortable with what they think and want to know your opinion. They also ask open-ended questions so that other people can be thoughtful and introspective. A confident person realizes that they know a lot but they still want to know more and they know that the only way to do this is listen more.
3. They stay out of the spotlight so it will shine on others. Truly confident people don’t show how much they care about how hard they worked, at least not on the outside, they still feel proud of their accomplishments but they don’t need validation from others because true validation comes from within. So instead of being in the spotlight, they celebrate their accomplishments by letting others shine because it will be a confidence boost to help those other people because truly confident as well.
4. Truly confident people ask for help. Too many people think of asking for help as a sign of weakness. Confident people are secure enough to admit a weakness when they need help or do not know something. By asking another person for help, you are also giving that person a big compliment, showing respect for that person’s expertise and judgment. If you didn’t feel that way, you wouldn’t ask them.
5. A confident person thinks, “Why not me?” A lot of people wait to be “discovered” or hired or promoted or whatever. Not a truly confident person. They can connect with just about anyone through social media, everyone knows someone else that you should know, and they know that they can attract their own funding, build their own networks and relationships, create their own products, choose their own path and that they can choose to go down any path that they wish to. Once they make that decision, they just go out and do it without drawing a lot of attention to themselves.
6. They don’t put other people down. Typically, people who like to gossip and talk badly about other people are doing so because they hope that in comparison they are making themselves look better. A confident person only makes a comparison of the person they were yesterday to the person they want to become.
7. A truly confident person isn’t afraid to look silly. If you are a truly confident person you won’t mind occasionally being caught when you aren’t at your best. People tend to respect you more when you do, strangely enough.
8. Confident people own their mistakes. Confidence breeds sincerity and honesty where insecurity lends itself more to artificiality. So confident people own up to their mistakes. They don’t mind occasionally “looking bad” and possibly being a cause of laughter for others and for themselves. If you are genuine and unpretentious, people aren’t going to be laughing at you, they’ll be laughing with you.
9. They seek approval only from people who really matter. Having the hard earned trust and respect of the few people in your life matters a lot more than having a few thousand Twitter followers or Facebook friends. Earning trust and respect allows us to live our lives with true confidence because we know that the people who really matter are behind us.
A truly confident person is easy to spot because they aren’t trying to be spotted. It isn’t hard to become a truly confident person as long as you believe in yourself and allow others to do the same.
Published by Conselium Executive Search, the global leader in compliance search.
