On the list of workplace challenges, few items are as vexing as having to deal with toxic people.
You know the folks I’m talking about. They’re bullies, they’re childish, they’re vindictive, they’re unpredictable, they’re…everywhere.
Chin up. You can succeed in spite of whatever real or imagined sabotage you suspect them of. Here are some ways to be the best possible YOU, regardless of having to work alongside the worst-possible version of someone else.
Set Boundaries
Toxic people are deeply negative, and they want company. They want you to join them in their complaining, whining and trash-talking. You may be in situations where you’re forced to listen to their diatribes, but set limits and don’t join in their pity party. Doing so only increases their perception of their power.
Manage your Expectations
Go ahead and give a toxic person feedback if you want to, but don’t be deluded into thinking they will change. By the time we’re adults, our characters and personalities are pretty well set. Taking this person on as a project and expecting a miracle is just going to tax your own personal resources. You’ll also probably be met with resistance, which will further consume your precious energy.
Own Your Joy
A toxic person’s opinion of you does not determine your happiness. Celebrate your accomplishments, and ignore the sour grapes they may toss at you.
Rally Support
Don’t get outnumbered by toxic people. Surround yourself with those who are upbeat, positive and supportive. There will always be difficult people and difficult situations at work; make sure you have a support system to turn to.
Focus on Solutions
Focusing on a crazy person can make you…crazy. Instead, manage your emotional state by fixating on solutions to the problem the toxic person is creating. Successful people strive to change and adapt as life throws curveballs. Remember: the toxic person isn’t going to change, so call on your own resourcefulness as a way to forge ahead.
Don’t Play the Victim
You can’t control whether or not a toxic person is going to be a jerk. But you do get to decide how you respond. Don’t be victimized by their actions OR by your feelings about it. Rather, rise above the negativity that he or she has created.
Be Your Best Self
As you struggle to resist “getting in the mud” with a toxic person, strive to show compassion, understanding, respect and forgiveness. We don’t toss those words around much when we talk about co-worker relations, do we? We should. Demonstrate the very traits you most want to see in others. Remember, the only person you can change is YOU.
Maurice Gilbert is Managing Partner of Conselium Executive Search, which specializes in placing Compliance Officers and Legal Counsel for clients in the U.S., Europe, Latin America and Asia Pacific. Maurice is also CEO of Corporate Compliance Insights, a worldwide publication devoted to governance, risk and compliance issues. Maurice can be reached at maurice@conselium.com or maurice@corporatecomplianceinsights.com.
